UNTITLE 1
by kimtendo-vs-mocrosoft
Summary: Silly story written by Pinata-Kimtendo Gable (old pen-name Pinni). Bok Bok! Linkie Gable(my hubby) is in this one too. Some swearing and mild kissy scenes. R&R Plz!
1. Default Chapter

Pinata stormed into the room. Her black hair whipped around her eyes and a handbag on her arm knocked over an expensive looking vase. The roses fell out and the glass crunched under her feet.  
  
"IVE HAD ENOUGH! GET OUT, ALL OF YOU!" she screamed, pointing wildly with her index finger. "IVE HAD ENOUGH OF YOUR STUPID GAMES. GET OUT! YOU ARE NO LONGER WELCOME IN MY MANSION!" she said, her eyes flashing. Nicole looked over her shoulder from where she was perched on Aragorn's lap.  
  
"Did you say something, Pinni?" The black haired girl at the doorway made a horrible face and almost burst into tears. "Hmm. Thought not." Pinata watched as Aragorn gently kissed Nicole on the lips and they turned back to what they were doing.  
  
"What on EARTH do you want, Pinata?" asked Maddy, Frowning. She was plaiting Legolas' long blond hair. Legolas smirked at her and put his arms around the girl.  
  
"This...is...my HOUSE! You have no right to be here. I let you stay for ONE WEEK. Its been over 3 months now!"  
  
"But your house is so lovely and-"  
  
"SHUTTUP HALDIR, YOU TOERAG!" Pinata screamed. Nicola looked shocked.  
  
"Pin...are you Ok?"  
  
Far away, a lightning bolt flashed down and set an orc on fire.  
  
"Bad question..." muttered Mo, smiling ruefully at Elladan, who was standing with his arms around her waist.  
  
"That is it." She said, steely cool. She turned on her heel and ran down the corridor in a mad rage. She turned a sharp left and yanked open the white dais. Legolas' tunic lay in her way and she landed face first into a pile of underwear.  
  
"Oh dear SHIGSY!" she reeled backwards and took a look around. All sorts of gross things were there. She looked at the bed; covered in fluffy things and a pair of handcuffs were dangling from the end of the post. Pinata twitched and walked over to the window.  
  
"Oh, They'll see. That bed cost me millions. Absolutely millions." She seized an important looking crossbow and an expensive looking dress. She smiled and dangled them from the window. "Oh! Oopsie daisy." She let go and they crashed to the ground. Next came the shield, then the wardrobe.  
  
"Isn't it amazing what can fit through a window sometimes?" she muttered. Closing the bay windows she grabbed a match and lit several things on fire, and then poured a glass of water over them all. They smoked and she smiled. Next was the suitcase of...things. She opened the suitcase and took out the whip, the tuxedo, the chaps, the ball gag, the handcuffs. She very happily picked them all up and threw them out of the door and all over he landing. A male thong dangled from the chandelier. It had a huge 'Leggy' on the crotch. Pinata smiled. She then traveled over to the bed and attempted to remove the fluffy green handcuffs. She snapped them to the left and frowned.  
  
"Oh SHIT." She looked at her wrist. The handcuffs were clipped tightly around it. "shit shit shit." She crawled under the bed, trying to ignore the bras and such under the bed.  
  
The other room  
  
"What was that?" Link came hurrying out from the bathroom, a towel tied around his waist. Steam rose from his broad shoulders.  
  
"Mm." Nicola commented, looking him up and down. Link quailed under her stare and Haldir tried to regain her attention.  
  
"Did you hear that?" he asked, frowning. His blond hair was tied up in a little bow at the top of his fair head.  
  
"Hear what, exactly?" Said Nicole, smiling at Aragorn. "I expect it was Leggy and Mads. They went into their room a second ago." Link frowned.  
  
"So what is his underwear doing on the chandelier? I fell over a bloody ball gag on my way out of the bathroom?" Mo raised an eyebrow at him. "Oh dear. Kim had a go at you didn't she. Erm, I'm really sorry for whatever she said, guys...I'll go and check...if shes...ok." He stepped out of the room, his blue slippers scuffing along the room. The dais fluttered and he heard a happy squeal.  
  
Legs Room  
  
"shit." Pinata squeezed herself under the bed further, disguising her arm as a coat hook as best as she could. Not that it would matter. Maddy had removed her dress already and flung it over a lampshade. The bed creaked under their combined weight. Her arm was aching terribly and she had clamped a blanket over her ears to block out the noise. "Ugh...this is so horrible..." she mumbled. She saw Links slippered feet and tried to motion to him. Links blue eyes widened when he saw her arm. "Link..." she muttered.  
  
"Oh crap. Not again." Link knelt down and crawled as silently as possible. Not that the couple noticed, being as...busy as they both were. Madeleine let out a happy laugh and Link took his chance and flung himself under the bed. "WTF happened?"  
  
"Long story. Can you get me out of here?" Pinata whispered into his ear as he leant over her to reach the bedpost. "Ow!"  
  
"Shh! Just let me get over you and..." Link reached up and screwed up his face in concentration. They both heard a click, and...  
  
"Shit."  
  
10 MINUTES LATER...  
  
"Okay...what happened?" Maddy sat up, yanking a bedcover over herself. Leggy stretched and smiled happily. "Our room!"  
  
"oh its not your room, you little who-"  
  
"shuttup they'll hear us!"  
  
"bloody hell, Link, pull up your towel!"  
  
"oops. sorry." Link reached a hand between them and yanked up his towel very uncomfortably. "Oh dear."  
  
"What now?" hissed Pinata, blowing her hair out of her face.  
  
"My...er, well...my hand is stuck on your dress"  
  
"oh no. Why do this?" Link tried to wriggle free but Piñatas eyes opened widely. "stoppit!"  
  
"Oh yeah. Sorry..." Pinata sighed deeply.  
  
"This sucks."  
  
"Perhaps we should try and tidy up and make Pinata happy?" suggested Legolas. She saw his bare feet hit the floor. Pinata screwed up her eyes as she saw Maddy do the same.  
  
"No...wait..." Maddy smiled and pushed him onto the floor. He sat down happily about 3 feet from where Pinata was lying. "I want to show you something..."  
  
"LINK!" she half screamed as the elf moved into another position. There was a rip and;  
  
"Oh dear. Erm, we've lost a towel." 


	2. Chapter Two

"Where's Link? And Pin?" asked Nicole at the dinner table that night. They were eating a delicious meal served up by one of Pinata's many staff. "I haven't seen them since Link went to see if she was OK?" Gandalf smiled, settling himself down.  
  
"You know, you and Legolas weren't the only two in your room." Said Gandalf. His coat shone brightly as he appeared before them all.  
  
"Gandalf?" There came a voice from the hall. Pinata stood in the doorway, light streaming in from behind her. The door clanged loudly. "Oh COME ON! Not another one!" She cried, her black hair stuck up on one side and a small tear in her dress. "I give UP! JUST DO WHAT YOU ALL WANT!" With that, she stormed out of the room and ran into her room. Link appeared, looking slightly disheveled.  
  
"Erm. I'm going to...go now..." he said, scratching the back of his head awkwardly. His blond hair was scruffily messed up at the back and he had wrapped a bed cloth around himself. He turned and left the room.  
  
"See what I mean?" said Gandalf, smiling.  
  
"What? They were in our room?" Said Legolas, a few seconds after the stunned silence broke off. "I wondered why that coat hook looked like Pinata's hand..."  
  
"What, you were looking anywhere else other than Maddy?" said Nicola, hiding a smile and eating some food. "Hmm..."  
  
"Oh shut up. Listen, I feel really bad. About Pin..."Maddy began, shrugging.  
  
"If we do anything we'll just make it worse." Said Mo, frowning. Elladan whispered something to her, his black hair falling over his face. "Oh CRAP."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Er. Nothing...I...have to go..." stuttered Mo and Elladan stood up too.  
  
"Wonder what's eating those two?"  
  
MO AND ELLADANS ROOM  
  
"..." Pinata looked at the book, frowning. "Karma Sutra for Elves?!" She leant back on the desk. Curiously, Mo and Elladan had requested to lodge in the Library. Now she knew why. "I didn't even know I had this book?"  
  
"Pinata!" Mo ran into the room and closed the book. A red hue was growing on the elves cheeks. "Erm. It was a...a present!" Pinata closed her eyes and leant on the desk. Mo twitched, moving the book aside.  
  
"I am going to count to 10. If all of you aren't out of this house by then I WILL be forced to set my hippogriff on you all." She said, through clenched teeth. Mo started and backed out of the room. Elladan grabbed her hand.  
  
"What did she say?"  
  
"We have about 20 seconds to leave, basically."  
  
"Oh."  
  
LATER ON  
  
"Pinata?" Link moved closer to his wife and frowned. "Are you crying?" he mumbled, tilting her face up to his.  
  
"No..." she said, tears spilling onto her chest. Link put his arms around her and she buried her face into his neck.  
  
"You don't have to go through with this..." he said, hugging her tightly.  
  
"They're my friends. If I were in their position I'd be scared by now. I have to..." she trailed off, clutching handfuls of Links tunic in her hands. Link sighed, and Pinata felt his heartbeat quicken. "Link..."  
  
"I'm going to see them. You stay here." Link gently placed her on the floor and stroked her cheek. "I'll be back." He stood up and left the room, closing the door gently behind her. 


	3. Chapter Three

STUDY  
  
"Guys. You have to stop taking advantage of Pinata, ok?"  
  
"Hey, it's her problem, not ours." Said Nicole, taking a bite from an apple and tossing it aside. "SHE invited us here." Aragorn smirked and pushed his hips ever so slightly into the small of Nicole's back. "But whatever. I would have thought she would have welcomed us better, to be honest..." she said, looking around.  
  
"Nicole..." Nicola warned, laying a hand on her friends shoulder. "I'm sorry, Link. Give us two days and we'll be out of here."  
  
"There is...no need. Pinni told me herself she's given up. And you heard her." He shrugged. "Do what you like. We'll be the ones leaving." Link turned and left the room in a still silence. The grandfather clock chimed once. Links footsteps could be heard entering the Library again, and the small snick of a locked door filled the empty air.  
  
"Kim?" Link walked into the room, frowning.  
  
"Look at them." Pinata hissed in the corner of the room. "They think they own the place, don't they..."  
  
"What the hell are they doing?!" said Link, kneeling next to her. The steam from the bath was making the camera distorted. "Is that...HALDIR?"  
  
"Guess who's with him..." Pinata's hand shook slightly. She felt links shoulders rub against hers. He laughed softly.  
  
"Nicola...and I thought she was the good one all along..." he muttered. His long fingers played gently with her hair. "I told them..." Pinata frowned. "I told them something...I guess I shouldn't have..." Link began helplessly. And he explained it all.  
  
"Great, Link. Now what?" Pinata shut off his camera as she saw Haldir's arm disappear beneath the water and Nicola jump onto him. "What on earth are we going to do?" Link pulled a face.  
  
"I dunno. Ask Gandalf." Pinata turned around and sat on him, pinning his arms down.  
  
"Oh No you don't." Link blew his hair out of his face and smiled at her. "You got yourself into this mess, you get yourself OUT."  
  
As Link sat up and wiped the lipstick from his face, he smiled mischievously and said,  
  
"So why do you have a camera in the bathroom, anyway?" He ran out the door, narrowly missing a pillow hitting his head.  
  
BATHROOM --  
  
"HALDIR!" Nicola splashed him and winced at the sound of water once again hitting the marble floor. "Cut it out, you BAD ELF."  
  
Haldir grinned, his long hair stuck to his broad chest. "Come off it. You know you like it..." he said, moving his muscled arms over her back. "Seee?"  
  
iTHE FOLLOWING SCENE HAS BEEN CENSORED. THIS JOURNAL IS PG 13 ONLY.i  
  
Nicola sighed and grabbed a towel. "Stupid...sign!" she smacked it out of the way and then dropped the towel again and sat in the bubbly water. Haldir smiled and leant forward, drawing Nicola closer...  
  
"WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU GUYS ARE DOING?" yelled Pinata, banging on the door. Haldir whipped around, his arms still fastened around Nicolas waist. "GET OUT HERE NOW!"  
  
Nicola gasped. "The water!" there was a huge puddle that was slipping slowly towards and out of the door. They could see the owners slippered feet getting soaked.  
  
"Pinata? I- I'm just taking a bath!" Haldir called, pressing a finger to Nicolas lips. "I'll be out in a minute!"  
  
"I'm bloody well counting, you stupid leprechaun!"  
  
Link took her hand. "Calm now. Deeper breaths, Pin..." he took her shoulders and ignored her protests. "Come on."  
  
"Just because your stupid teacher said so..." but nevertheless she breathed in and out. Link tried to avert his eyes as best as possible. Unfortunately...  
  
"OK, OK. I'M OUT! Look Pin, we're really sorry. We'll go now..."  
  
"Mmkay. Don't tell me I just saw a sweaty Haldir and Nicola leave the room right in front of me."  
  
"Ok, I wont tell you."  
  
PINNI AND LINKS ROOM  
  
"You wanted me, Link?" Gandalf said, stepping into the laboriously furnished room. His footsteps echoed on the mahogany floors.  
  
"Um, have a seat?" Link gestured helplessly to the large carved chairs. "Yes...I wanted to ask if you could help me and Pinata get everyone out. Pinata's just gone out for a ride in the fields, I'm sure she'll be back shortly. Um, do you want, like, tea or anything?"  
  
"I'm fine, Link. As for the tricky subject of this..." Gandalf stroked his beard. "Its not so easy. You say Pinata willingly let them in?" Link nodded. "Hmm. Did she set a time limit?"  
  
"No...She just said stay until when you need to leave." Gandalf sighed and the wooden chair creaked slightly.  
  
"You see Link, the elves of middle earth, they take words very...how should I put this, literally. Now you, being an elf from Hyrule, most probably have different views?" Link nodded again, teasing a strand of hair in between his long fingers.  
  
"Yeah...be a convenient guest; never disrespect the owner, and so on." Link made a face. "This is exactly what they're not doing downstairs, might I add!" Gandalf frowned.  
  
"Hmm." He stopped and Link heard several beeps. "Oops, my Pizza-Pockets are done." The wizard jumped up. "Can we resume this conversation after lunch?"  
  
A large sweat drop fell on the back of Links head. "Go ahead..." He shook his head and closed the door after the wizard, blocking out the sound of "do you have any regular soda around here?"  
  
He traced his fingers on the golden bed knobs and sat on the fluffy bed covers. If Pinni didn't kill someone else first, he'd be the one dead. He gave a groan and lit a cigarette. This was all too much. 


	4. Chapter Four

FOREST AREA  
  
"Aragorn!" Nicole pushed him aside and he almost fell into a bush covered in thorns. The six foot man dodged it easily and grabbed her round the waist, swinging her in circles. "Nyah!" she turned and kissed him on the nose. Aragorn smiled and bent down, kissing her cheek gently.  
  
"Finally, Pinata will never find us here!" Nicole wanted dearly to do more, but she had a job to do. Aragorn sighed happily as he stroked her stomach.  
  
"After, Aragorn, honey..." she said, slapping his arm which had strayed to the fastenings of her dress. "We have to plan this now!" She sat on the ground and felt Aragorn swing his legs around her. "Ok, so this is the plan, and we have to-" Aragorn was breathing gently on her, making the hairs on Nicole's neck stand up. "The plan...we have..." she turned around and Aragorn quickly undid her corset, and Nicole put her arms around his back and slid them up to his shoulders, undoing his cloak. Little did they know who was coming towards them at an alarming speed...  
  
Pinata studied Nicole. Her lipstick was smudged and her reddish brown hair was all over the place. She shifted her weight in the saddle and frowned. "What on earth? Why is she outside?" Epona got bored and began to wonder off in the direction of the food. "Agh!" She grabbed the reins and pulled Epona to a halt again. Nicole was making enough noise to make someone deaf, thought Pinni as she settled herself in the saddle once again. Lucky thing, that. She nudged Links bay mare closer to Nicole and peered at her. "Oh...My...God." She closed her eyes. Why was everyone doing all of...that? She blinked, but the image of Aragorn and Nicole had infected her head. Feeling extremely grossed out, she gulped and pulled her headscarf over her eyes.  
  
"OK, YOU TWO! CUT IT OUT NOW!" Pinata yelled, over the sound they were both making. "GUYS! STOP!" she screamed. Nicole suddenly stopped what she was doing and Aragorn looked up, resting on his elbows.  
  
"Why'd you stop, baby?" he said, frowning.  
  
"WHY DID YOU GUYS START!" Pinata wheeled around and galloped towards the other end of the clearing. Epona snorted, spooked by the cacophony.  
  
"Yes, /u, its ME. Now get up and go away!" she threw them their cloaks through blurred eyes. "You are simply disgusting. I give you food, I give you bloody CLOTHES which you cant even keep on, I let you riddle my house with germs and filth, I let you have the rooms you wanted which you cant even STAY IN, what the hell else do you want from me?" she screamed. Her black mascara was streaming down her face now, and her hands were trembling with the effort of keeping Epona halted. "Just tell me now, why don't you? An allowance? Free weapons? My house?!" she said, getting more and more upset. "I hope you fucking well burn in hell, all of you!"  
  
And she let Epona gallop towards the field. They both soared over the fence and Pinata pulled off the saddle and bridle, patting Epona swiftly and then entering through the side door, sniffing furiously.  
  
"Pinata, are you-" Mo said, rushing forwards.  
  
"Oh SHUT UP! Like you even care! I bet you wish I were dead, just so I'd stop bossing you all around!!" she ran upstairs, hitching up her deep blue gown and skidding down the corridor. Link came out of the room, his hand still on the door, looking shocked.  
  
"Pin? What-" but he didn't answer, he couldn't, because Pinata had just knocked him to the ground with a huge hug, sobbing into his shoulder, her body trembling violently. "Pin? What is wrong? I..." he wrapped his muscled arms tightly around her. "Calm down..."  
  
"I cant calm down! What have I done! I just wanted to be a good friend! That's ALL!" Pinata clutched at his back, and he kissed her neck, feeling her heartbeat pumping fast. "I just cant do anything right! I'm leaving, Link, and I'm not coming back until they're all gone!" Links eyes snapped open. Unconsciously, he gripped her tighter. "It's the only way they'll leave, and if they don't go, well, I hope they have a nice life living here!" Link pushed her face up.  
  
"You aren't leaving. They are..." he muttered. Pinata moved in closer, her gown spread on the floor like a fan, kneeling, her lower legs splayed out on the floor. Link put a hand on her waist and kissed her on the lips. It was a little while until they parted. "Please..."  
  
"I cant, Link. I'm sorry..." She stood up and took his fair head in her hands. "I love you..." she kissed his forehead gently and went into their room. "Please don't disturb me."  
  
Link sat on the floor, his eyes downcast.  
  
"Hey, elf boy, we've run out of-" Elladan stopped in his tracks. "Are you Ok?"  
  
"No. No, I'm not 'okay'." Link mumbled. He stood up and walked into the study. Elladan was joined by Mo, who stood, frowning. The door closed gently behind him.  
  
"Hmm...What did we do now?" Mo said, her hands on her hips. "Or is it more of what we're not doing?"  
  
"I think that would be it." Nicola muttered her hand on the stairwell. "Pinata just left."  
  
"I hope you're happy now." Link said, standing before them all. "I hope you're happy." And with that he went into his room and left the group looking rather dejected, with the monopoly money and wine goblets held limply in their hands. 


	5. Chapter Five

LATER ON THAT EVENING...  
  
"I'm going out to look for Pin." Said Link shortly, closing the door.  
  
"Ok-" Nicole began, but he door slammed in her face. Elladan snorted.  
  
"A lot of help that'll do, Nicole, TALKING to him." He said moodily from his place at the sofa. "If it weren't for you we wouldn't have been stuck here in the first place!"  
  
"Oh SHUT UP, pointy! I had to ask her, besides, we knew her and we were all tired!"  
  
"And you had to go and take her literally!" cried Maddy, feeling annoyed.  
  
"Oh come off it. Maddy you agreed!" snapped Nicola. "And anyway, your room- "  
  
"Your stupid voice-"  
  
"You just HAD to say that!"  
  
"Oh look, just SHUT UP!" screamed Haldir. Everyone looked at him. "We haven't been te best guests, have we. So we have to make things better. So the Plan. Where is it?"  
  
"Um..." Nicole looked sheepish. "We...that is to say, me and Aragorn..." She began helplessly. "I mean, we- well, we kinda lost it." There was immediate uproar.  
  
"Nic! that was our ONLY WAY OUT-"  
  
"I CANT BELIVE YOU!"  
  
"Well it wasn't ME!"  
  
"QUIET!!!" A voice boomed from the room. "Just be QUIET." Gandalf said, wiping cookie crumbs from his beard. A smoking pipe was making an odd whistling noise. "Ok, I saved the Plan. Now, lets see."  
  
The group poured over the paper for around several hours. Link returned home, soaked with rain. He hung up his cloak and tramped up the stairs. The door slammed and Mo sighed.  
  
"I feel so bad. But we have to make an effort at least, before we go!" said Mo, chewing the end of a pencil. "Get off, Elladan!"  
  
"Hmm, OK. Just, where are we gonna get the money? There's NO WAY we can use Pins money, that's just stupid."  
  
"Good point. I was thinking..."  
  
And so the conversation lasted throughout the night. In another part of the fields...  
  
"Gimli?" Pinata knocked on the door and stooped to look inside. What with Gimli being a dwarf, the door was minuscule and Pinata had to kneel and shuffle in.  
  
"Pinata? Are you Ok?" said the dwarf, wiping his hands on his frilly apron. "Dwalin, darling, get out another soup bowl!" he called, and then he turned back to the shivering elf. "You look drenched! Come here, my love. I'll get a good meal into you and then we can talk, okay?" Pinata sniffled and squeezed into a chair.  
  
Dwalin waltzed in and laid a bowl in front of her. "Well now, isn't this a nice one?" he said, smiling kindly at her. "I'm Dwalin, Gimli's partner. It's a pleasure to meet you!" he said, ladling soup into her bowl and breaking off some bread and cheese. "I'll leave you two alone then, shall I? No, Gimli, don't worry. I'll go and take a bath, tell me if you need me!" he then walked up the low steps and disappeared into the bathroom.  
  
After warming up, Pinata slowly began to tell Gimli about what had happened. "...and then I had to leave because I knew I'd go crazy if I didn't, but I miss Link and I love him and I cant bear the thought of him alone! Oh, Gimli, what have I done?!" Gimli patted her on the back sympathetically.  
  
"You know, Pinneh, if they're truly your friends I bet they're doing something that will make you feel better right now. Come on, I'll take you home."  
  
"Gimli...I...I cant..."  
  
"That's OK. You want to stay overnight?" Pinata nodded, her eyes in shadows. "Okay. I'll show you to your room. Erm-"  
  
"OW!"  
  
"...Mind your head there..."  
  
"Thanks for telling me, Gimli." The dwarf smiled and shook his head. How she'd grown!  
  
MORNING  
  
"Pin?" Link rolled over and groaned. He went to put his arms over her but she wasn't there. His hands fell to his side and he groaned and rolled over, face down in the fluffy pillow. He closed his eyes. He tried to get back to sleep, but there was a tremendous bang from downstairs which reverberated throughout the mansion. "What on earth?" he sat up, stretching, and pulling a shirt over his bare torso, he walked downstairs, still yawning. What he saw soon woke him up very quickly.  
  
"Erm! Link! Hi!" Maddy chirruped. "Maybe you should go upstairs!" she said, looking nervously around herself. Link raised a fine eyebrow and turned on the staircase and walked upstairs without a second glance, even when a nasty sound of water spilling came from the kitchen.  
  
Maddy watched him. "Hmm. Not quite as well built as Leggy..." she said, tearing her eyes away from his...erm...THIGHS. Everyone stopped with baited breath as they waited for Links door to close. When it did,  
  
"Ok, can someone help me with this banner?" yelled Legolas, wincing as his arm began to cramp with the sheer effort of holding up a paper sign.  
  
"Has Gandalf left for the fields yet?" Asked Mo, putting down the phone and almost being knocked over by Elladan who had rushed over to Maddy with streamers and balloons.  
  
"Guys! Arm!" panted Legolas. Everyone ignored him.  
  
"Ok. Where's the food? Oh shit, the punch!" Nicola yelled, spilling the remaining contents of a large bowl over Aragorn's head.  
  
"Ok, I got the wine!" said Nicole, setting it down on the table-cloth covered bench. "Does anyone know where Pin keeps the goblets?"  
  
"They're in the second drawer in the cellar. Ok, guys, now let's tidy away. No, Haldir, NOT that!" snapped Maddy, tying a balloon to the helmet of a suit of armor. "Has anyone seen Gandalf?!"  
  
"I AM HERE!" he boomed, triumphantly. "I have found Pinata and persuaded her to come back. Now, she will be arriving in approximately two hours. Are we all ready?" and he peered impressively around the hall. What he saw made his face crumple a bit. "Oh, MUST I DO EVERYTHING?" he said, smiling. He snapped his fingers and little pixies came and fixed everything. Gandalf moved over to the chairs set out and straightened.  
  
"Potatoes" he mumbled, and then fell unconscious on the floor. The group looked at him.  
  
"He's been at the mulled wine again, hasn't he?" Nicola sighed, rolling him under the table.  
  
OBSERVATORY  
  
Link sighed and looked up at the fluffy white clouds above the fields. He shifted his weight and leant on the windowsill, brushing a strand of blond hair from his face. He longed to go out onto the stone balcony and sit beneath the veil, but he knew that it would only remind him of Pinata. A goldfinch chirruped and pecked at the grapevine climbing up the wall. Link groaned sadly and leant over the side of the marble cast window, letting his arms dangle and laying his chin on the smooth stone. There was a noise from the hall again, and the elf vaguely thought he saw a baker turn up at the door precariously holding a cake, but he blinked and he was no longer there. He closed his blue eyes and wondered when his wife would ever come back. This house seemed so empty and quiet without her.  
  
At which point a blast of music came from the hall. Link jumped and then raised an eyebrow. He stood up and slammed the window shut and left the room, walking down and into his room again, locking the door.  
  
GIMLIS HOUSE  
  
"Thanks, Gimli. I hope I haven't been much of a nuisance?" said Pinata, saddling up Epona and tightening the girth. Gimli handed her backpack and smiled at the elf.  
  
"Not at all! In fact, I enjoyed the company. Not to say that I don't enjoy Dwalin, of course!" he said, laughing as he reached up to hold the bay mare still, trying to ignore her inquisitive sniffing.  
  
"Jesus, what on earth is this thing? Is it edible or what? Smells like parsnips..." Pinata nudged the mare to stop her talking. The elf swallowed her giggles as various mutters like 'strange hair', 'too small', 'where's his head?' were uttered under the mare's throaty whickers.  
  
"That's it, are you OK up there now?" he said, patting her lower leg. Pinata smiled at him and nodded.  
  
"I hope they're all gone. Gandalf mentioned a surprise. I'm a bit worried, to say the least. I just hope that surprise is that they're all gone..." she muttered darkly, shortening the reins. Gimli smiled up at her, fiddling with his ginger beard slightly.  
  
"Well now, lass. If they are still there you come right on back to me, you hear?" he said. Pinata turned and nodded her thanks.  
  
"I will, Gimli!" she said, and with that she nudged the mare into a swift canter, her black hair streaming behind her. 


	6. Chapter Six

"Ok, guys, I can see Pin coming now! Lets light the candles!"  
  
Gandalf put down his wine and smiled. "Mmkay, gimme lights! I'll do iittt" he said, keeling over. Nicola smiled ruefully and plonked the candles on the table.  
  
"Mo, come over here for a minute!" Mo obliged and dropped the streamers she was putting into place.  
  
"What is it? And have you seen Nicole anywhere?"  
  
"And Aragorn...oh no, they aren't doing anything bad are they?" said Maddy from lighting a large candle. "They're the ones who got us into this trouble in the first place."  
  
"We're here!" said Aragorn, precariously holding the cake. Nicole closed the door.  
  
"The man said he saw a girl riding up about 10 minutes ago. Lets go, people!" she said, clapping. Aragorn smiled as she lit the candles.  
  
"Perfect. Someone move Gandalf, please!" He laughed. The group rolled Gandalf underneath the table drapes, unaware of his still smoking pipe resting on the slightly alcohol damp cloth.  
  
"What are you all doing?" said an annoyed voice. It was Link, wiping his eyes roughly on his sleeve. "What's happened to our-my house?" he said, walking down onto the maple oak floor.  
  
"Erm, Link...well, we..." and Mo explained. Links face grew darker and darker, and Mo's voice became smaller and smaller. So um, yeah. And Pinata- " Link ignored her and ran to the widow. He saw his bay mare caked in mud and Pinata trudging up behind her, holding a stirrup for balance very half heartedly in the distance.  
  
"!" Link flung open the doors and ran out and down the fields. Nicola smiled.  
  
"Ok, our coach should be arriving soon. Come on, guys." She picked up her suitcase and carried it outside. The others followed, stowing various sacks and bags in the lobby outside. Mo looked behind her, smiling. What she didn't notice was the spilt candles flame licking Gandalf's pipe smoke and igniting into a very small fire.  
  
FIELD  
  
"Pinata!" Link cried, flinging his arms around her and kissing her muddy neck. Pinni hugged him back, ignoring the fact that she was covered in leaves and twigs, and that a caterpillar was slowly crawling into her sodden black hair. "What happened?!"  
  
"Your stupid horse thought it would be a good idea to get scared by a tree. So it bloody well ran off through a ditch, didn't it." She said, barely hiding her smile. "Have they left?"  
  
"Just about to! I ordered a carriage, should be arriving any minute now." He said, taking Epona's rein and her hand. Pinata squeezed Links hand and he squeezed back, smiling to himself gently.  
  
MAIN HALL  
  
"Ok, she's coming up now!"  
  
"Sniff, that was so romantic!" said Maddy, clutching Legolas hand.  
  
"Wait a second..."  
  
"Oh my GOD!"  
  
"Can you smell burni-" as the words left Nicole's lips, the entire hall erupted into flames. (like a sort of 'FOOMF' sound kind of flames. (=-=))  
  
"Oh SHIT!" Mo yelled, running out. The others followed, screaming.  
  
"I cant believe it!" cried Maddy, watching helplessly. "Oh NO, She's gonna kill us!"  
  
From about 100 yards away, they heard a shrill scream.  
  
ALMOST AT HOUSE  
  
"OH MY GOD! MY HOUSE!" screamed Pin, as she ran forwards. "what the...ohmygodno! ohwhyme?!" she muttered, stumbling forward. Link grabbed her arm to stop her from throttling the nearest person standing on the lawn. A tearful Nicola turned to her.  
  
"Oh, Pinni...We're so sorry...we just tried to make a nice party for you..." she mumbled, and she walked to the lobby. "We'll go now..." Pinata watched the sprinklers make the tablecloths mushy and the candles bobble with wax. Her prize original Monet had a large hole in it and had begun to crease at the edges. Link was shaking next to her. But Pinata ignored everyone and stepped into the large room.  
  
"Pin, sweetie, don't, its dangerous..." said Link, helplessly grasping at thin air. The group stood, frozen, as Pinata stood in the middle of the room and slowly looked up. She turned and looked around. Then she faced the group. They quailed a bit.  
  
"I really like what you've done with the place." She said, breaking into a huge smile. Nicole raised an eyebrow, and Aragorn stepped backwards. "No, seriously, guys." She stepped over the shattered remains of a chair and went over to see the rather crispy cake. "Hmm, I'd say this has been in the oven a bit too long..." she mumbled, tracing the end of the sooty letters 'welcome back'.  
  
She turned, and the others looked worried. A small tear was welling up into her soft hazel eyes. "I wont hate you. But as soon as you get this place tidied up-yes, Legolas, that means you-then you can stay for as long as you like. I'm not that mean. And..." she smiled, and Link came up to her, wiping away a tear from her face. "I want to thank you all, because I know that you care enough to wreck my house, spend all my money and burn down my dining room and still not care a bit, and you've stuck by me and...sniff Yeah. I'm not good at this...I'm sorry..."  
  
"Pinata...we should be the ones who are sorry." Said Maddy, frowning. "And don't worry; we'll tidy this place up in no time. And then we'll go." She said, turning to the others. "Now, come on." She clapped her hands and the disheveled group trooped into the room.  
  
Pinata smiled tearily at Link, who wiped a smear of mud from her cheek and kissed her on the lips. "What you did was really nice, Pin..." he said, when they had broken apart. "Did you mean that they could stay?" Pinata rested her head on the elfs chest.  
  
"Hell no."  
  
END!!  
  
I know it's a stupid ending, but I can't think at the moment. Anyway, here is the Epilogue-thing.  
  
"Its quiet without them around, isn't it." Mumbled Link, face down in the pillows, one arm around his wife's stomach. He felt her nod. "Oh well. I cant say I'm not happy!" he said, looking up. Pinata laughed softly at him. "What?"  
  
"Your hair!" she said, ruffling the golden strand sticking up. "Whoops, I made it worse!" she giggled. Link gave her a peeved look and jumped on her, kissing her face and sitting on her, his legs straddled. Pinata laughed and wrapped her arms around him, hugging him tightly. They rolled over and Pinata screamed as they fell out of the bed. They landed together in a fluffy pile of blankets and large cushions. "I love you!" she said, poking the tip of his nose with her finger. He gave a soft smile and pressed his hands into her waist, making her giggle.  
  
"And I love you!" he said, tickling her harder. They were interrupted by the sound of the phone ringing. Pinata was tempted to leave it ringing but she eventually pushed Link off to get the annoying sound to stop.  
  
"Hello, Gable residence?" she said, hearing the phone click.  
  
"Um, Hi, Pin? Its Nicole here. Erm, can you help us out?" 


End file.
